"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" - Lao Tzu
Hello there. Please acknowledge your steps to understand yourself, to uncover ways that what lies in the sub-conscious can lead to self-sabotage; dictating from a level that we experience as daily, or intermittent triggers and oscillating emotional states. Sometimes this level can start a 'splitting' where the internal emotional state does not match what we show to others. An expectation of being 'okay', 'put together', or 'just fine', as we may tell others and the world.
It is okay to not be okay.